Suspension and Holding
110th Edition
Happy Spiritual Monday
As this is hitting your inbox, there is a large scale eclipse occurring. I’m no expert in the meaning behind it, but forecasts range from divine manifestation to doom, from prosperity to disaster. What I can say, is that there are a lot of people who are in a state of unrest, and CERN is firing up the particle accelerator again...
Suspension
I missed last week’s edition, mainly because I had a bad date with a laptop. More accurately, after a few attempts, my little digital companion decided to call it quits. These things happen, and it’s not the first time it’s happened to me. However, it is the first time it’s happened when I’ve been in transition, when I have been without work and when I have been looking to start over in life. So it has put a bit of a suspension in my plans/ digital creation.
The week prior, I had a beautiful time in the bush, sharing with my brothers and sisters the life of living on and off the land. It felt great to be of service again, to help people again. It’s been a while since I’ve been in this place.
A lot of fun and laughter was shared in the weeks antics, and there was much learning. Mostly, the learning that the learning is perpetual, and there isn’t a contest of who’s better or worse, just the dedication to grow and offer and refine.
It’s ironic then, that upon landing back in a home - one which I had not seen before I departed - my digital connector ceased to show up to the table. Almost as if... the universe was telling me something...
Whatever the meaning, I am trying out typing this letter on a phone. And I can assure you - it’s not my cup of tea! But such is life.
Holding
For over half a year now I have been on full time dad duty, and have also been undertaking an intense course on mature connection. Side note: I wouldn’t recommend the combo of those two...
We officially have landed in the eastern most town in Australia and it is proving to be magic in many ways, the most important of which is to see my son thriving. In the week I have been back, we have been to many beaches, waterfalls, parks, we have seen countless musicians, amazing crystal collections and had great company surrounding us. It’s been glorious.
We are thrilled to have made the move, but also are still in transition as much of our life is in boxes in a garage. Add to that the fact that mama has started a new job which is always a bit of an uphill battle, and I’m finding myself wondering: what am I holding on for?
What I mean to say is I’m curious as to why I am not in creation of something that turns me on. There is a sense that I am just in limbo, a bit of a holding pattern in both life and my purpose.
I’m also aware that life is happening, we are experiencing so much here and I’m grateful to be spending time with my son, and yet it seems like I’m not doing enough. Time creeps in fast.
One item of information that has popped up for me is how I am still slowly coming back online after years of maybe running at high revs in a high gear of service and facilitation. In no way can I say I’ve done the level of say a Tony Robbins, who seems to have energy Infinitum, but something about working in a space where I was in service to thousands of people, but in an environment I wasn’t in complete alignment with had opened up some strange ponderings.
Alignment
I’ve always envied those who “knew what they wanted” from an early age. Some people are blessed with the connection to their purpose from an early age and they follow that. Some potter along and just get by. Some reinvent themselves and create their dream lives. These days we are inundated with people documenting themselves in these and many more ranges of life paths.
Me, I’ve kind of cruised. And it has given me a beautiful life, experienced many awesome people in my time and am grateful for all of it and all of them.
What I’m not proud of is how I have not always held my ground and navigated according to my heart, but learning is a part of living. So here’s to learning to be better every day!
Yoga is a broad swathe of description, as it can mean many things to many people and many of those same people would uphold a sense that theirs is the correct meaning. I’m not like that, except to say I believe any practice of yoga is to hone ones ability of discernment. This is a valuable skill, and in the past few years, I have witnessed how yoga has failed in that many people who have “strong, dedicated yoga practices” fail to discern truth from untruth, or deception from genuineness.
So I left a big studio to take time with my son.
There has also been massive pushes for high performance from all angles. Better, stronger, faster. High performance coaching, breathing, training, habits... pick your poison. I’ve gotten caught up in it believing that my work must improve people’s performance in all ways, after all, many have said I’m good at what I do, shouldn’t that be the result???
After racing around for awhile I notice how I’ve become stuck. Stuck in non-action, a lifelong habit of analysis paralysis that yields no performance, no benefit, no thing.
Amidst the stickiness has come the realisation of where I can actually be more effective in my life and my offering. I’m not interested in being high performance, even though I have an insatiable hunger for ever improving myself and processes to get things done. There are thousands of coaches out there who claim they are too, leading, world class high performance masters that can offer their services for a fee. Not into competing with that.
No, what i have noticed is in this world of everyone chasing performance, we can easily forget how an engine at full revs over time will blow up. All things need rest, and this is one area I am a master in.
Deep Relaxation
When I started teaching yoga, I was inspired to help, not in any specific manner, but just to help. It didn’t occur to me, as a Power Vinyasa teacher, that relaxation would be my strongest offering. I know now that this is the case.
It has occurred to me in times where I notice that I see different sides of people to others, how some may describe certain individuals as coarse, harsh, grumpy, when I see them and experience them more relaxed and kind. It dawned on me that this is my work in the background, my vibe allowing them to relax.
In this way, I realise why I enjoy offering sound journeys and meditation sessions, why I love speaking and smiling to groups of humans: I am here to guide, remind and help people to relax in a deep way that restores their vitality and life force.
So from here in, I will walk the path of the great relaxer, and I will utilise the new tools I have been honing in nature connection, I’ll continue to offer deep vibrational realignment sessions (you might call them sound healing journeys) and starting Wednesday 24 April I will start offering group classes once a week at Creature Yoga in Byron Bay. Bess reached out and asked if I would teach, and for some reason it seems like a good thing to do. Once weekly vs 12x weekly will be like a holiday.
Currently I am scouting locations for some longer programs, maybe a weekend, maybe a week, where I can synthesise my work and deliver indelible experience which leave participants feeling renewed and refreshed. But I won’t run retreats. The word and it’s spell are ridiculous, and nobody comes home from a retreat stoked to go back into daily life. I prefer immersions, going all in, tuning the “regular life day to day” out to focus on what matters.
Thank you all for supporting my work here and elsewhere, it is appreciated and I’m grateful for you all.
Lastly, starting soon I will be offering group sound sessions for moms, as I have come to realise how badly moms need a refresh and relax. I love my lady, the mother of our beautiful boy and the work she does and all you moms out there, keep doing the good work, you’re amazing.
And so it is, with love.
Suspension and Holding